No one even thought to notify Satan.

Here’s a short story to prove I’m not completely neglecting this blog ^_^

HOW THE APOCALYPSE WOULD HAPPEN IF HEAVEN WERE A SMALL NON PROFIT

By Daniel Cech

Taken from Timothy McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit will send e-mails to each other creating action plans and purposely not CC or talk about it with any of the angels. After about two weeks of this, Gabriel overhears a “private” phone call between JC and the Lord and immediately sends a scathing email to all the angels (it is a small office which they all share after all).

The angels then decide to organize a meeting WITHOUT the Trinity to figure out how to handle the whole mess. The board finds out about the angels’ meeting, and they want in. The Trinity hasn’t been informed.

All the while, the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are creating a strategic plan detailing strategies and desired outcomes, none of which involve the angels OR the board. Tension mounts between the Trinity and the angels/board. More scathing emails. Neither party is talking to the other and can’t figure out why.

After about ten years of this (and total neglect of what’s happening on Earth) Heaven is awarded a grant, and God brings in a consultant. After three months of meetings, SWOT analysis, and organizational training, the Trinity, the angels, and the board FINALLY are on the same page. Only then will Gabriel realize no one had CC’d the four horsemen.

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