About Me Part 2: In Which I Introduce Myself and Lament the Lack of Anthropomorphic Drinking Containers in My Nightmares

Hello and welcome again to Rapture Practice, a blog about the End Times in all of its strange and quirky forms!  Last time, if you recall,  I explained why I wanted to start a blog about the Rapture.  But then I thought, perhaps a second explanation is in order.  Perhaps I don’t need to explain why there should be a blog about it, but …

Why am I starting a blog about it?

So maybe you were wondering what gives me the right to talk about this particular religious belief?  Am I a theology scholar?  Do I have a Master’s in Divinity?  Can I say “premillennial dispensationalist theology” 5 times fast without stumbling?  Well … no.  Definitely none of those things.

But what I lack in scholarly perspective, I make up for in personal perspective.

Growing up, I somehow managed to walk the line between devoted Catholic and hardcore sci-fi/fantasy fan.   Don’t ask me how that happened.  By high school, having read one-too-many Catholic visions of heaven, two-too-many escapist fantasy series’s, and sixteen-too-many Left Behind books, I was basically left with the idea that Jesus was going to come back any day now and shwoop us all up to heaven.*  (“Schwoop” is probably the sound it would make.) So I guess I did believe in the Rapture, although I never knew you could practice for it, or believe me, I would have been all over that like a Potterhead on a life-sized autographed cut-out of Daniel Radcliffe.

Today I can and do look back and laugh at the silly things I believed.  But believing in the Rapture wasn’t all fun and games. It involved a lot of angsting over the state of my soul.  Many of my nights looked like the “Spooky Mormon Hell Dream” from the Book of Mormon, but without the dancing Starbucks cups. (Catholics have nothing against coffee, you see.)

Eventually, though, I gained enough critical thinking skills to realize that the whole end-of-the-world thing didn’t really hold up to the harsh scrutiny of logic.  Neither did the whole Christianity thing (although I’m still a spiritual person and believe that organized religion has its merits).  But the Book of Revelation has always held a special place in my heart.  After all, lest you forget, there are still the sea monsters and dragons!

So, no, I’m not a scholar or an expert on Biblical theology.  But after all those years of letting the End Times terrify me, I feel that I’ve earned a chortle or two at its expense.


*You might have noted that Catholics don’t believe in the Rapture, and Rapture proponents are harshly critical of Catholics.  You would be right.  But I was blissfully unaware of the politics between the different Christian sects.  To my mind, we were all one big happy family.  Even then I believed that God loved everyone regardless of their theology.  Hm. I never did quite fit in.

Next Week: Let the Awesome Begin!


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