Pacific Standard Magazine – Why are So Many Christians Obsessed With Predicting the Rapture?

Sometimes my cousin reminds me that I still have a blog. Here’s a fine article that you might enjoy!

May the fate that Lyz Lenz feared never befall us!

https://psmag.com/why-are-so-many-christians-obsessed-with-predicting-the-rapture-e0954ea48236#.rn8daywst

Apocalypse 1887

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Rapture Comic Adventures Part 6: At Least He’s Honest

http://extrafabulouscomics.com/

As another presidential election draws nigh, it’s time for Americans to start arguing over which candidate is really the Beast from the Sea poised to usher in the End Times!

Personally, my money is on Trump, but I could totally see Bernie as the type of Antichrist who provides food and shelter (evilly!!1!!!) while TurboGod is busy sending plagues and poisoning the water supply.

Which candidate do you think is secretly the spawn of Satan?! Discuss in the comments!

 

Rapture Index: In Which Todd Strandberg Puts Me to Shame

Ok, it’s about time I admit this to myself: I am a bad blogger.

Every so often I come across something and think, “Aha! Here is a thing I should share on Rapture Practice!” I spend about a week meaning to post said thing and then forget about it. Repeat every couple of weeks for a year.

But recently my cousin sent me this lovely article from Vocativ! You may remember the Rapture Index from several of my early updates. Now you can learn all about the man behind the numbers: one Todd Strandberg!

The End is Nigh

Strandberg is the kind of Rapture nerd that puts bloggers like me to shame.  He has been updating the Rapture Index every day for the past 28 years. Unsurprisingly, the numbers have been steadily climbing since 1990.  Right now the Rapture Index hovers at about 180.

For context, when the Second Coming strikes, the Index will be at about 225. Strandberg expects this spike in Rapture-related activity to occur within 5 years. At the rate I’ve been updating, that means I’ll get in about 5 more blog entries before Armageddon.

Maybe now that I’m back on here, I’ll finally get around to some of the Rapture books/movies I’ve been meaning to review.

Or maybe I’ll disappear for another year.

Who knows?! The internet is full of surprises!

 

The Leftovers: In Which Humans Act Like Humans, and I Cannot Stress How Exceptional This Is

Hi friends! You’ll all be relieved to know that I’m alive and haven’t been Raptured! I came back to do a review of the Left Behind movie and realized I had a nearly-complete write up of The Leftovers (the novel) still in my drafts from August.  So I finished it up! A bit more serious than my usual tone, but I felt that Perrotta’s achievement deserved a little more respect than the usual if-we-throw-Jesus-in-it-no-one-will-notice-how-terrible-it-is excuse for a Rapture story.

Enjoy!

The best thing about Tom Perrotta’s The Leftovers is that, compared to other Rapture books, absolutely nothing happens.

That may sound like an insult, but it’s not.

Continue reading

Meta Post

Ugh, I have just been bad at updating this blog, you guys.  My life is actually pretty on track right now, which is awesome, but it makes it a lot harder to focus on escapist fantasies.

I’ve been working on a post about the book The Leftovers (and trying to figure out how to watch the TV show The Leftovers without buying an HBO subscription), but I’m also applying for a job and trying to get a new song performance-ready by October 7th. So all four of those things are going to get done, but some of them are going to take a little longer than the others.

Anecdote, though: I ran into another Rapture nerd at work last week!  He started digging through his wallet looking for something and, knowing absolutely nothing about me, said, “Man, I have so many cards!  You know how they used to talk about getting a chip implanted in our hands and they were all like, ‘It’s the Antichrist!’ ‘It’s the Mark of the Beast!’ I don’t care, I could use that chip!”

I was like, “Yeah, totally, if anything I would just be like, ‘Thanks, Antichrist, for making such a convenient chip!'”

We commiserated for a while and then parted ways.

Rapture nerds–they’re out there! 🙂

No one even thought to notify Satan.

Here’s a short story to prove I’m not completely neglecting this blog ^_^

HOW THE APOCALYPSE WOULD HAPPEN IF HEAVEN WERE A SMALL NON PROFIT

By Daniel Cech

Taken from Timothy McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit will send e-mails to each other creating action plans and purposely not CC or talk about it with any of the angels. After about two weeks of this, Gabriel overhears a “private” phone call between JC and the Lord and immediately sends a scathing email to all the angels (it is a small office which they all share after all).

The angels then decide to organize a meeting WITHOUT the Trinity to figure out how to handle the whole mess. The board finds out about the angels’ meeting, and they want in. The Trinity hasn’t been informed.

All the while, the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are creating a strategic plan detailing strategies and desired outcomes, none of which involve the angels OR the board. Tension mounts between the Trinity and the angels/board. More scathing emails. Neither party is talking to the other and can’t figure out why.

After about ten years of this (and total neglect of what’s happening on Earth) Heaven is awarded a grant, and God brings in a consultant. After three months of meetings, SWOT analysis, and organizational training, the Trinity, the angels, and the board FINALLY are on the same page. Only then will Gabriel realize no one had CC’d the four horsemen.

Left Behind Movie Trailer

I am genuinely excited for this movie. It looks like they took the basic concept of Left Behind but actually put time and effort into making it good. I hope I’m right! Keeping my fingers crossed until October 3rd!